Critical Miss Forums

Jonny Nexus · 13th Level Joined: 07 Feb 2006 Posts: 846 Location: London

This thread is for discussion of the Issue 9 article, "Semi-Sentient Biped Pack Animals". To comment on the article, just hit the "Post Reply" button and type in what you think.
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"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
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JDJArvis · Guest

Awesome idea.

Ilium · 2nd Level Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 16

Reprehensible. Stunningly poor taste.

Well done. Wink

Blah · Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 2:56 pm Post subject:

Given the prospects of the average orphan mute imbecile in the Old World it might be considered a kindness to provide food and shelter in reurn for labour even if there is an element of danger. It provides employment in the community Wink

.

Mind you if I was GMing I'd have been tempted to introduce a mule who was less stupid than the temple thought and not averse to theft...
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It is not about the winning; it's about the not-getting-stabbed-in-the-bollocks

Ilium · 2nd Level Joined: 10 Feb 2006 Posts: 16

I also question the wisdom of abusing somebody that you hired specifically because he was freakishly strong and mentally impaired. The phrase "Hulk smash!" leaps to mind for some reason. Smile

myburninghate · Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:55 am Post subject:

Bit of a thief I must confess. I smiled with glee when I read it, and immediately reverse engineered it and made it my own idea. In the form "Ka chewwey ChUmP!", my own semi-sentient pack-guy fellow. He was a good lad, and immensely strong, with and INTof like, 3 and a STR of 25. Sickening.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the depravity of my fellow players. Gregg, guy I play with, saw a way to twist my beautiful idea (and it is mine, I reverse-engineered it, no one can claim I stole it!) into his own plans. We got in a scrap with some guards of somewhere or other, for some illegal matter (that Gregg did), so when he sees the guards coming, whats he do? Pulls out his sword, and instead of charging the guards, starts beating my halfwit with the flat of his blade, causing him to fly into what was at that moment coined as "retard rage" (yeah, we act like we're all 12). I think my reaction was something like "Gregg, you twat!" but Gregg just came going, till Ka chewwey ChUmP was good and pissed, then Gregg loosed him on the guards. Who were torn to pieces.

Assholes.
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Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night- Rorschach

Jonny Nexus · 13th Level Joined: 07 Feb 2006 Posts: 846 Location: London

Gilles de Rais · 2nd Level Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 16

Jonny Nexus · 13th Level Joined: 07 Feb 2006 Posts: 846 Location: London

Gilles de Rais · 2nd Level Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 16

The Baron · 1st Level Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 3 Location: England

Anyone any ideas about the availability of these Semi Sentient Bipeds?

Would they be more common in inbred back water villages or in larger cities?

All my Pc's are clamouring for one now they have read this article! Smile

Blah · Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:54 pm Post subject:

Small, isolated coastal communities might be a good place to start. I hear Insmouth has a high level of inbreeding. It should be perfect for recruiting trouble free pack animals...
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It is not about the winning; it's about the not-getting-stabbed-in-the-bollocks

Ballscratch · Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject:

Innsmouth?

I dig their bactrachian lips. Their bulbous eyes and scaly hips.

Of course, for 'Pack Animal' you would have to read 'Ablative Meat Shield'.
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"I do not have a girl-friend. I just know a girl who would be very upset if she heard me say that."

thtraveller · 1st Level Joined: 27 May 2006 Posts: 3

The idea also appears in "The Dying Earth" short story collection, the book that has been mentioned as the inspiration for D&Ds use once spell system and published in 1950.

In the story "Guyal of Sfere" there are pack creatures called Oasts, "hulking men eight or nine feet tall ... They had waxy faces and expressions of crass stupidity."

Thinks, now wasn't that an annoying observation? Wink