Critical Miss Forums

[Jonny Nexus]

I've always dreamed of spotting someone on the tube reading a book of mine, and today it happened for the first time. A rather cute girl reading a copy of Game Night.

Alright, admittedly, it was my wife - but it was still pretty cool!


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"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

[Herald]

Soon you'll have a picture of some loser on the D.C. metro with a copy of Game Night. If it arrives before I go home, anyway. Which it better.

I went to order my copies from Amazon. Searching for Game Night, all I can find even remotely close to the title is Game Night: Fun for the Whole Family by Scott McNeely and David Sheldon, or Night Game by some woman. I cannot afford three of this year old Game Night, and they use a real name, so I doubt my idle thought that perhaps Jonny Nexus is made of two time-traveling people, as one is named Sheldon, obviously after the worthless runt in the Garfield cartoons that could not hatch and arguably is the genesis for the "annoying as shit cute thing that runs around helplessly." I also did not think about Jonny getting a sex change and marketing his book as a romance novel to sneakily boost pre-orders past 3.

Then I search for Jonny Nexus. Lo and behold, Game Night is there for pre-order, but with no picture. As I currently am undergoing a war on picture-less items due to my last scrap with Buy.com, I go to your Livejournal page to get the Amazon link for the real deal. Plus, I want to give you money for asking me to give you money in a very real and internet way. Because unlike the average homeless person, you write books, and also might understand what I mean if I suggest that perhaps you should get a shower on account of you smelling like a mixture of ale and Umbral Blot. Unfortunately, you didn't have a link up to pre-order, and I wanted it before Christmas.

So I had to manually create the referral link using the end of your Slayer's Guide. Hopefully, you got the pittance of an allowance Amazon gives for 3 sales. If not, you should probably take a tire iron to their kneecaps and force them to show your book in search results, have a picture of your book, possibly review your book, make it easy to make a referral link, and wear a tutu just for good measure.

Now I'm off to stop trying to play Bejeweled/Puzzle Quest with the emoticons to the left of the post window.
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>
The guard stares at you and swears. The guard says, "I do not see why you even bother living."

[Jonny Nexus]

Okay, apologies in advance for the over-excited nature of this email...

[Herald]

By the way, congratulations on having sold more on Amazon this week than The Guide to Lodging in Spain's Monastaries, Skip Beat! (Volume 7), and Ethan Out and About: Brand New Readers! Your book hasn't even been released yet and it's already a best seller among children's books, manga about rap battles, and advanced C++ programming guides!
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>
The guard stares at you and swears. The guard says, "I do not see why you even bother living."

[Jonny Nexus]

I was up to 38,000 in the sales rankings at one point early this afternoon. Now I'm back down to 72,000.


_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters