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Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:03 am Post subject: Issue 9 IMHO Letters

From Issue 10 onwards, the letters column (IMHO) will be replaced by these forums. However, since we have been sent many letters after the publication of Issue 9, I will be posting them (shortly after I get Issue 10 out) to this thread, so that they can be read and commented on. _________________ "...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter." Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:38 am Post subject:

Okay, I'm going to start posting these in, but there are a lot of them so bear with me because it might take a while. (But I'd rather do it bit by bit and give them proper replies than bash them all in in one go, and not do proper replies). Everyone else feel free to reply to the letters in this thread, by the way. _________________ "...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter." Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters Last edited by Jonny Nexus on Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:42 am Post subject: Jim Robinson a Vietnam vet?

Quote:

Dear sirs,

I wish to highlight an inaccuracy in your otherwise excellent [snigger!] magazine. You stated that Jim Robinson only once referred to his time in Vietnam.

Actually, some annoying little kid on Ramsay Sreet once found a grenade and thought it was a toy (I think maybe it was a souvenir that Jim brought back from Nam? Or something someone had left over from WWII or something).

She was playing with this deadly piece of military ordnance (as little girls often do - they're quite fond of pieces of chipped green metal, apparently), and pulled the pin out just as Jim happened to be walking past.

Jim, calling upon his military training, heroically seized the grenade and hurled it expertly into Lassiters Lake. Sadly, he failed to blow up the child.

Yours sincerely,

Archangel,

aka Richard Cowen,

aka Konrad Helsinger, formerly of Nuln

Point taken. But mentioning it *twice* ... well it ain't quite post-traumatic stress disorder, is it?
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:43 am Post subject: weather in games

Quote:

Reading the letter column of issue 9 and noticed a complaint about weather in games...

So, you're from the general amalgamation of countries that produced SLA Industries and you can't think of a game with weather in it? Hell, find me a SLA scenario that DOESN'T open with the words "it's raining."

If you think rain is attractive, you should consider blizzards. On top of the inclement weather from the skies, you get lower movement, the occasional snowdrift and increased fatigue from dropping temperatures. And for the bastards, Avalanches.

Then there's dust storms, tropical typhoons, tsunamis... dysfunctional roleplayers ought to be convinced that Mother Nature herself is out to get them.

--
Peter

Yeah weather could be a good thing to throw in whenever the players are a bit too comfortable. You know a "GM's Bluffers Guide To Weather" might be a cool article... Smile

_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:50 am Post subject: Ish 9

Quote:

I've now read the issue in full and I'd just like to say thanks.
Hopefully no-one here at work has noticed me desperately stifling
laughter as I absorbed all the good stuff you guys have put out.

Have you considered offering a donations link? A lot of webcomics do
that now, and obtain some (probably not a lot) of cash from their
satisfied customers to help support the site.

Well the main site is hosted for free by a friend, and the forums don't cost much. (The forums are separately hosted by a US company because with a commercial deal I'll get better uptime, and because I like the idea of them being in a country that, how shall we say, has a bit more of a robust attitude to free speech).

So donations are a nice thought, but aren't needed.

Having said that, if and when I get a comic (or novel) of my own out, I fully intend to shamelessly deploy the following argument: "If you've enjoyed Critical Miss over the years and ever wished you could bung a few quid/dollars/euros/whatevers its way to say thanks, then now's the time to do exactly that... Please, please, please do me a huge favour by buying issue one of my comic. If you don't like it, then I wouldn't want you to buy issue 2, but making sure that the first issue gets good sales will go a long way to ensuring that there will be an issue 2."

Quote:

A couple of unrelated remarks:

1. I read in the IMHO column a letter suggesting that many role-players
are atheists. I can't speak for the community at large, of course, but
where I live there seems to be a large number of pagans, a rather larger
number of atheists or agnostics, and a somewhat smaller group of
believers of other sorts, including christians.

I suspect that role-playing is fairly incompatible with religious
belief, and that perhaps exposure to a variety of belief systems
encourages critical analysis of religious dogma (something most
religions avoid like the plague, except catholicism which has spent
centuries trying to cope with it).

2. There's a mention, again in IMHO, of the site www.mavav.org
("Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence and Underground
Videogame Cultures" - WTF?) This site, it has been mooted, may be the
work of a satirist, probably a youthful one. Note the lack of articles
and the absence of any contact details except a single e-mail address.

3. Jonny, despite the odds, it is *possible* to pick up girls at a
games convention. It's hard, though.

You have better odds of scoring if you take up a pastime with more
girls in it - something which encourages, or forces, you to have regular
social interaction with them. In order to avoid the whole "What's
role-playing / see ya," syndrome, it's probably best if it's a pastime
that encourages free thinking.

I recommend (1) becoming a active pagan (2) becoming a regular LARP
player (3) joining the Society for Creative Anachronism (4) form/join a
band. People I know who follow those lifestyles always seem to have "I
met this girl/guy" stories every time I see them.

You guys do good work. May there be many more issues.

Cheers
Adam Reeve
Canberra, Australia

Well as readers of my blog will know, I do now have a girlfriend. But thanks for the advice anyway. Smile

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:56 am Post subject: The Demise of RPG (UK)

Quote:

Deadpan Disciple here,

New reader and subscriber!

And am very happy to be so Smile

Looking through the back issues and noting JN's mourning of the lack of role-playing popularity and Lord Lards's comments, I thought I'd put my thoughts on the line as it were.

And as I know you guys like profanity, sexual innuendo and general sarcastic, evil humour - I shall do my best to duly oblige at appropriate times throughout this email, mwahahahahaha (Insane, evil laugh).

My background as a role-player dates back to the late 80's when I first started playing ICE's HERO system at Uni in Derby. I STILL role-play with most of the people I role-played with then, though probably not as often as we did then, but we do get the weeklies and the odd drunken long weekend in.

But I take your point there are few 'new' role-players appearing on the scene. Particularly in the UK.

I can think of several funny ways of resolving the issue;

Sell dice made out of compressed heroin and make RPG PHYSICALLY addictive.
Free porn for both male and female players with every purchase.
Brad Pitt's phone number to be provided to all Female Players to convert them to the cause (Brad Pitt to comply with all their demands as long as they RPG once a week) - Same principle for guys, but with Cate Blanchett, Liv Tyler, etc... instead of Brad.
Death Squads to roam the earth killing anyone who doesn't RPG.
RPG to form it's own political party and have party political broadcasts.
Anyone who denigrates role-playing to have 'CUNT!' shouted at them when they are seen in public by as many people as possible, combined with having their houses smeared with excrement and fresh bile in exploding letter bombs posted to them everyday.

Well I can see the porn and death squads working, but I think there are some feasibility issues with some of the others.

Quote:

On the serious side though...

You weren't being serious above..?

Embarassed

Forget what I said.

Quote:

There are several points that I will ramble through, but my first one is probably a bit contentious nevertheless...

I think we all failed the role-playing scene in the 90's. WOTC came out with Magic the Gathering, and believe it or not, having read CRYPTONOMICON by Neal Stephenson I have heard THIS referred to as RPG. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!? Console games - in fact the whole computer game fucking REGIME came out. All of a sudden RPG lost it's intrinsic magic to any new players by being HARDWORK to do. Far too much disposable sodding income in the hands of the kids and a distinct lack of imagination. The RPG demographic (If there ever was such a thing) has been re-marketed into the skateboarding, hip hop listening, console game playing, moronic mass of today.

And we LET it happen because at the end of the day, what did we fucking do about it?

Think about it...

RPG was drowning and we were describing the water to paraphrase Jack Nicholson.

Games Workshop - who I love and hate in equal measures, tried valiantly to keep up with a public who, lets face it, were beginning to develop the patience and intelligence level of lobotomised goldfish. I mean, HEROQUEST was an attempt to merge markets, just simple enough for the instant response crowd developing, and just complicated enough for RPG'ers to think, well, I can add a storyline use their simple system and at least I get models and floorplans! (Try finding HEROQUEST now... Someone fucked up somewhere, that one could still be earning if you ask me).

Why read an RPG book when you can play Quake? Why spend hours designing a character and thinking of what their next action or sentence should be when you can buy TORMENT (Which even I bought so that's how fucking good the propaganda is) and monkey click you're way to Nirvana?

Now I know anyone who reads this will have sought out this site in one way or another and will be reasonably dedicated RPG'ers and will be thinking to themselves 'I know why RPG is a good thing to do' - well so do I, and I won't bore you with knowledge you already possess.

Jonny, as much as I'd like to believe that bringing RPG back into the limelight involves scandalising it in some way, it would never work - Sorry to be a miserable fucker, but you are dead wrong.

I teach, yup, an RPG'er who teaches, not in frigging secondary school either - FE & HE - I let my students swear, as long as it isn't at me - If they fuck me off, I say to them 'You've fucked me off!' They respect me and I do my best to respect them in my own way by not taking a sawn off shotgun, shouting 'CUNT!' and blowing their fucking heads off.

I teach art & design by the way - so my life ultimately has no purpose hehehehe (I am cracking up...)

The reason why your wrong Jonny is that kids that get marketed to at the ideal RPG age - couldn't give a shit about scandal, they don't watch the fucking news for fuck's sake! I'm teaching 18 year olds with less reading skill than mine was when I was 10! They have the questioning ability of a corpse! All they care about, and in some senses there is nothing wrong with this, are drugs, sex, drink and how little can they get away with doing and still make out like their brilliant at something even when their not. This is where Computer and Console games have the advantage, because they succeed in selling the illusion. The currency of youth, business and consuming is based upon selling the aspiration of being something your not. But the underlying tenet, is, as with all business, just to get them to consume.

WOTC and WHITE WOLF have got the consuming thing down pat, but even they are only trading on converts that have been converted by us - the long time RPG'ers. If we don't do something soon RPG will become X-Box's Halo 2 - And believe me the comparisons of AD&D with IBM and WOTC with Microsoft have fucking cropped up in my mind many a time...

If we're going to win this war - and it is a war because I believe that RPG when it flourishes or rather flourished was a sign of an independent, creative society, if we're going to win this pissing war, then we have to take the fight to them and start making products that are undeniably RPG, but appealing to lazy, consumerist shitheads. And that are completely different from what is available from our 'American friends'. This is not to say I don't buy there products, but I know when to take them and I know when to torch the shop they are stocked in. A pyrrhic victory perhaps, but what the hey..

I'm working on a project at the moment that I hope is a step in the right direction because I'm getting well pissed off and full of righteous indignation, whether it will work I don't know, but I'm gonna give it a go (I won't give details at this time, but I will keep you informed, if your interested!).

I know you can't argue with business, but as a an issue for concern in anything to do with business, isn't it a trifle worrying that we have let a construct that has no moral centre, fuck things up this badly?

Getting off the point there. Apologies!

Another part of the problem is that we are all embarrassed to talk about RPG with none RPG'ers because of the image of sad nerdy fuckers with dice. How do we expect to change that image if we don't talk about it to these people? It's the same with Art I've noticed, most people think that Damian Hirst is full of shit, but do they actually know anything about his work? Have they actually been to SEE any of his work. Invariably, no, but do we tackle people on their lack of experience and knowledge of a subject? No.

Well, we should. We should be terrorising all the dickless wonders who think we're sad fucks! Bollocks to 'em. I'm not a sad fuck, I live with my GF, we have great kids, and I'm constantly trying to fend off female students because one woman is more than I can handle (Aaaaaaaah, but what a woman she is, woooooo hoooo).

I've just started RPG-ing with my kids - and they fucking love it.

Maybe we should just try and breed RPG'ers? Prepare the cloning tanks!

Never forget Jonny, the Satanism issues that scandalised RPG way back when, may have attracted the pubescent youth back then, but it was there parents who gradually stopped them from buying the products )I know several people who I have re-converted who this happened too, and their parents weren't even particularly religious! Just consumerist morons who bought the image from a different view point).

Ok, I haven't covered online RPG's, but to be honest Asheron's is the only one I have any knowledge of (A friend of mine just downloaded a load of hacked apps and left his computer running 24 hours a day whilst his characters just built up massive reserves of whatever he wanted, powergamer all the way), but to blunt, can anything really take the place of face to face RPG and rolling around pissing yourself laughing when a player has done something exceedingly fucking stupid? I think we all know the answer to that one...

We should be doing something about this...

You guys are,

Is anyone else???

Deadpan Disciple

Somewhere in the midlands, plotting the re-emergence of RPG in the UK as THE thing to do...

Now I know I've taken three years to get round to replying to your letter... but do you have any information you can give us on your project?
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:05 pm Post subject: The Magius & LARP

Quote:

Deadpan Disciple here again!

Having read Maguis' rant on LARP I thought I'd recount to you my only LARP experience (Please note the use of the word only as an indicator of where I'm going with this...).

Set the way back machine for 1989, location somewhere near Matlock in Derbyshire.

Myself and the group of RPG'ers I was with at the time (Yes, still the same motley crew I play with now, though this was when we were at Uni), got dragged to Matlock by the head of the Uni RPG society to do some LARP. We felt uncomfortable about this, but were never the less curious, plus he had mentioned something about increasing the society's funding from the Uni if we could evidence our commitment to the cause. Personally, I think it was because he was too scared to go on his own, wanker.

So there we were, the last strains of a glorious summer playing themselves out, with rubber swords, and the kind of cast off, 'sheepskin' leather armour that the proper LARP's could be bothered to cast off. Now, all due credit to the LARP's, they really took the whole thing seriously, but maybe it was our midlands turn of mind, but we thought that even they, below us, were a bunch of sad wankers - so we thought, let's make this interesting, let's show the fucker's how it SHOULD be done.

So because, for some bizarre reason we had arrived early, we practiced. Yup, we knocked seven kinds of shit out of each other with those fucking rubber swords. Defence wasn't a word in our vocabulary, hence why three out of the 6 of us ended up using 2 fucking swords. I remember during 'practice' I combat rolled with two swords and took out the legs of the head of the society. He landed with a very satisfactory crunching sound. Gotta give it to him though, he reacted well, he arose grimacing and said, "Remember that manoeuvre, we're gonna need it", and then proceeded to insist I teach it to him so he could do the same to me. I duly obliged seeing as how he had a black belt in Karate and a penchant for hanging around in dark alley's.

By the time we were ready to start, the LARP's had assigned our 'field GM', a guy playing an Elf Ranger called, wait for it, yes, you guessed it - Legolas (More like Lego-Fucking-Set I thought to myself at the time). This guy was kitted out. Knitted wool tank top, frayed at edges, spray painted silver for the illusion of chainmail. And as he was an elf, pointy ears, courtesy of a couple of flesh coloured elastoplast plasters (I kid you fucking not, what cunt). It rapidly became obvious that this guy was NEVER going to leave character, which resulted in several glances between us of, 'we'll have this wanker'.

So, off we trekked, across the fields and forests of 'middle earth' as LegoSet put it.

By this point we had all realised we hadn't eaten breakfast and now it was nearly lunchtime, there wasn't even a fucking pub within the horizon line, we were getting the arse and we hadn't even done anything yet. All we had, or rather I had, was a packet of Opal Fruits (Now called Starburst's or some such shit, what the fuck is THAT about?), which I duly passed around. When LegoSet was offered this glorious repast he made the comment, "I have heard of this, Dwarvish Waybread, mmmmmm".

This is when I realised that LegoSet would have to be punished in some way...

We trudged around until we encountered our first combat, us swordy guys were doing ok, until we got hit by magic when we all got 'frozen' and had to stand like lemons being hit by shitheads with better swords than us. This is when we all realised that it was a con, we had been given such shit characters to play that we knew we could never compete on the same level - Our desire to take the piss now went into top fucking gear! In silent consensus, we didn't report all the hits we'd taken and so by some miracle survived our first combat, hehehehe. LegoSet, looked confused, added up everything twice, but we were still there. I got the feeling that LegoSet hadn't expected us to survive...

Tough shit elfy! By now we were all sniggering behind LegoSet's back...

Anyway, it seems that the other field GM's hadn't expected us to survive either (How did they expect there society to survive when they killed off new members as often as possible? Who the fuck knows?), so now they went into panic. We were sent on a tour of the outer regions of 'Middle Matlock', whilst the regular LARP's got to talk themselves up their own arses.

Anyway, on a rest stop on our tour, we came up with the idea of doing a 'first blood' type training with LegoSet, we all had a go. After the head of our gaming society had got trounced by LegoSet for the third time (Well LegoSet did have a sword half as long again as ours and a fucking massive round shield), he sat down next to me and we engaged in THE CONVERSATION.

It went something like this:

ME: "That looked painful"

HEAD: "It was, LegoSet has to be taught a lesson"

ME: "Me thinks you may be right"

HEAD: "You know that 2 sword combat roll?"

ME: "Yeah?"

HEAD: "Give the fucker both barrels OK?"

ME: "With the greatest, and I do mean greatest, of pleasure"

I then challenged LegoSet to a 2 swords versus one sword and shield contest. I knew that I had the advantage as LegoSet was looking, let's say, a little tired after the unscheduled hike he'd done with us, so I toyed with him for a while and waited for the overhead sweep that I knew was coming.

When it happened, I rolled forward, blocking with one sword, but with the other swept under his shield and repeated the leg removing manoeuvre I had done previously on the Head.

Keerrrrrrrrunch!

I'll give Lego his due, he didn't break character, though that could be just me mistaking the silently endured pain for Elven stoicism.

LegoSet wanted to try the weaponry the other way round, I said OK and waited for him to try the same move on me as I had used on him, whereupon I brought the shield down on his sword and pinned it whilst parrying his other sword and putting mine at his throat at which pint I whispered to him the following...

"I'm half Fijian mate, which means I'm descended from fucking cannibals, and, as a bonus I'm a mad fucker who doesn't like your attitude"

For some strange reason we began our trek round the Matlock countryside soon after this exchange.

Anyway, the GM's had decided that we should be there for the final confrontation in a stone tower (Real!) where everyone would be confronting this demon who was basically a guy wearing black graduation robes with a large animal skull on his head.

So all of us trudged into the tower, all the 'serious' LARP's were already there, seriously kitted out in some quite authentic looking armour. Then the demon arrived, shouting off spell levels left right and centre "Fireball Level 15!!!! Woo hoo!). Wankers. The 'good guy' LARP's were doing the same thing back. We did the sensible thing and hid behind the higher level LARP's and let them take the shit, except for my mate Chris, who in a lull in the fighting stepped forward and with true aplomb shouted "Fireball level 2!!!!", this stunned everyone so much, including the demon that they all turned and looked at him. Chris then proceeded, to walk his way to the back again saying 'excuse me please, thank you, coming through' as he went. True class. I bought him a pint for that action, such was it's comedic worthiness.

The 'demon' was eventually killed and thus the days activities were ended.

Now came the time for the field GM's to work out our experience and damage. Well, for some reason we hadn't taken much damage, and the fact that we had survived the final encounter netted us quite a lot of experience points. The field GM's looked at us accusingly and we stared back innocently - what the fuck were the gonna do? I saw LegoSet talking to one of the other GM's and pointed in my direction. They both looked nervous - this would be even funnier if you actually knew how placid an individual I am (Yeah, right).

One of the other GM's asked us nervously if we would be coming back, the Head rose to the challenge and throwing down his sword and sheepskin armour said "Nah mate, we're sad, but we're not THAT sad" and walked away. We duly followed his example.

In retrospect, over the past few years, I have often wondered if we weren't a little hard on them, they seemed genuinely interested in what they were doing, and we were cheating and being quite nasty really...

Then I wake up and realise I was just dreaming these thoughts and that they got everything they fucking deserved.

To sum up, LARP's alright if you want to do it, but just don't ask me to get involved unless you want to end up on your back wondering why your lower vertebrae are sticking up through your stomach.

Yours,

as ever,

Deadpan 'Two Swords' Disciple.

Thank you for that confession. Smile

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:04 pm Post subject: Singnal tossing

Quote:

Most of the fellows I work around who game seem to have a great many signals they toss about. To make myself available I did the following 10 things:

1. Wore a trenchcoat in the middle of summer.
2. Wore dark colors and stopped washing my hair so that the dandruff would really shine. The only color other than black that I would wear is red, and that's only because it's the Transformers logo.
3. Threw away my Blue Jeans and began wearing my obscurely textured pants.
4. Stopped looking at women in the break room, even when the leaned way over to pluck a soda out of the machine.
5. I grew a mass of facial hair but plucked out every third hair in a random pattern so that nobody would think I had enough testosterone in me to grow a full beard.
6. I gained roughly 60 pounds and drank Mountain Dew straight from the two litter bottle.
7. I traded my SUV for a Magic card and bought a beat-ass old Civic that had been made in the late 80's, that had also been dredged out of a river by the local police. I slapped a couple dozen stickers on that that proclaimed that "I brake for Klingons" and "Do not mess with dragons for you and crunchy and something about catsup." I disabled the air conditioning and broke at least half of the knobs that could unroll a window.
8. I started to watch all the cartoons on TV and began renting every cruddy anime that Blockbuster video carried.
9. I took martial arts lessons just long enough so that I could critique actors in movies when they do various martial arts moves that the action choreographer assigns them.
10. I bought a pair of boots and a pair of Converse shoes. Sometimes I tuck my pant legs into the boots.

Okay...

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:05 pm Post subject: Flaming Dice

Quote:

Deadpan disciple with a burning idea,

Another way of using dice, particularly when things are dull, and especially handy if your a well equipped nicotine addict, is to set your dice on fire.

This can be achieved (without too much permanent damage to the dice), by covering them in lighter fluid.

I have tried this just now, I put my dice in a glass, covered with lighter fluid and ignited with a match, picked up the glass, dropped it because it was red hot and set fire to two months worth of development for a game I'm writing.

Can you imagine the look on the faces of your RPG group if you tried this?

Yours from the burns unit,

Deadpan Disciple.

PS. I didn't really try this, but that's probably what would have happened and I still thought it funny enough to send in.

Did I not, a few letters ago, ask you how your project was going?
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:07 pm Post subject: In response to Lard about scenario's

Quote:

Deadpan Again (Yes I know you guys have put out a contract on me, but who cares, besides I really just want to write for you guys hehehe),

Contract, no... Not unless you keep on writing. Smile

Quote:

Couldn't agree more that most products that are for the scenario market are shite.

I always thought, as a GM, that the best thing to do was have incredibly detailed information on the world your players character's are in and let them loose. Well, designed PC's and good players will virtually generate there own plot, and a half decent GM will let the Player's do what they want to do with twists along the way.

Besides, the best scenarios are always based on the players own paranoia/stupidity/cleverness.

So why not just produce scenario supplements that have cool ideas and suggestions alongside detailed background info and really cool illustration work?

Oh, I see, that's what they say they're doing...

My mistake.

Pity the real world isn't as nice as the inside of my head.

regards,

Deadpan Disciple.
Fighting the Good Fight.

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:08 pm Post subject: Re- benefits of contributing to critical miss

Quote:

Deadpan here again (i just can't stop writing to you guys cos your so fab)

I'm saying nothing. Smile

Quote:

Jonny,

Contributors pulling birds and you with nary a shag in sight?

Unforgivable.

Maybe you should start a column asking for submissions from female RPG'ers who would be interested in rectifying this situation?

Hey, your in a position to abuse your position as it ewre, fucking do it!

I think all your readers a re dysfunctional enough to accept this...

I know I fucking am.

Yours commiseratingly,

Deadpan Disciple.

PS. I don't have these problems as I do have a GF, but I sympathise anyway.

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:10 pm Post subject: Evil RPGs

Quote:

Tom Zunder wrote:

'Have you noticed how evil most roleplayed PCs actually are? Most doomed games start with the problem that the game assumes PCs are good and then they fail to be honourable, heroic or good. I suggest we design a game called 'Bastards' where players can fully explore their mercenary immorality and just screw the world through a series of utterly loathsome scenarios.'

When I was at school, I had a mate called Neil who wrote the most amazingly evocative RPGs. One was called Domain of Sorcery. It had six character classes: one was Sorceror of Virtue (a good sorceror) and the other five were all kinds of evil sorceror. Needless to say, no-one ever played Sorcerors of Virtue (in power terms, they were by far the weakest character class anyway). So we would play a bunch of evil sorcerors. A typical scenario would involve a demon lord ordering us to go and do some evil mission to further his demonic plans.

Don't imagine that this was a game of slaughtering peasants for power-trip kicks, though. We usually had to face enemies who were more individually powerful (but fewer in number) than our PCs.

As an aside, the game also had a stat called Dread, which statted how scary a character looked. If you wanted to attack someone, you had to roll your bravery-type stat against his Dread, or you'd be too scared. This was a very simple system, but not completely workable since it didn't take into account the numbers on each side in anything other than a one-on-one fight. I'm rather keen on the idea of having some kind of combat psychology stats like that, if it can be done in a workable way.

Lord Lard

That sounds quite interesting, actually.
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:13 pm Post subject: That Sanity Point is mine, I say!

Quote:

In CM9's IMHO, you published this cleverly crafted bon mot of mine:

'As far as I know, I am the only gamer in the world who holds this opinion... Fuck the gaming industry. We don't need it. Let it die.'

Jonny replied to this: 'Yeah, I think you'll [be] the only one.'

But then you published the eloquent meanderings of one Florian, who opined thus:

'The editor's point was : "stop complaining about the games and buy them, or the hobby will disappear altogether". And he was serious, but obviously he forgot the hobby is not the game companies. If the players dislike the published stuff, then they don't need it, and don't buy it, but keep on playing nonetheless.'

You see? There's one who agrees with me for a start.

Florian continued: 'I just think the way the d20 system is developing is a major step backward.'

Fucking right it is! This is scary. Not only does Florian agree with all my opinions, he also writes 'backward' not 'backwards', as I do. I suppose it's always possible that this 'Florian' is really one of my alternative personalities, who sends emails that I then don't remember sending. But another, I say more plausible, theory is that there's actually someone else out there who agrees with me.

You see! I'm normal, I tell you! I still have more Sanity Points than fingers!

Anyway, I was about to rant. D20 is a step backward. I haven't played any D20, but I've spoken to players and flicked through the rulebooks, and I'm horrified by what I see. It's got fucking alignment, for fuck's sake. Almost all RPGs dropped the concept of alignment over 15 years ago, because it was stupid and made no sense in an RPG. Now these twats who write D20 want to make one system that's used for all games, and has alignment built into the system. What a bunch of cunts!

It's also got fucking character classes. This was another bad idea that gradually dropped out of games a long time ago as people realised that straightjacketing characters into classes like that was daft. Now these D20 shites want every game ever written to have character classes in. It's just fucking ridiculous.

From my cursory glance at it, it looks like the writers of D20 want to take the world of roleplaying back 20 years. These cocksucking turds probably think that it was some sort of golden age when all games had alignment and character class. Well they can all just fuck of. I hope they all get cock cancer and have to have their cocks cut off.

As you can see, I'm addressing this issue in a mature and rational way.

Lord Lard of Lardhampton

I'm saying nothing. I'll only contradict myself in a later post.
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:54 pm Post subject: Gold based economies

Quote:

While reading the IMHO page several things occurred to me regarding gold economy issues that were being discussed. The basic point of the discussion was that gold is inherently inflationary since if you wanted more money you could just go out and dig some up. Furthermore, if gold is worth as little as it is in D&D it must be fairly common and digging up more can't be too hard.

Mr. Nexus wrote:
"That's the key. It has to be rare. If it is technically finite (like iron) but in practice is available in as much quantity as required, then it is useless as a currency. Because people will just go out any find some more iron, mine it, and mint it into coins. Thus you have inflation. Because people have gone out and increased the amount of iron in circulation."

My response is that while true in the real world, it may not be so in a fantasy setting. Here's why:

Perhaps, back in the distant past of D&D-land, gold was worth more. Whole cities could be purchased with only a few coins because gold was so amazingly valuable. Then, about five minutes later, a wizard had a flash of insight and thought "Hey, I should use this magic thing to find more gold! Then I'd be really sodding rich!"

Before long, news of this scheme had been published in all the fashionable wizarding magazines. About a week and a half later all the gold on the entire planet had been extracted and minted into coins by a rampaging horde of greedy wizards. Hyper-inflation ensued and we arrived at the value of gold we have today. After this economic cataclysm settled down, there's no more inflation. No matter how much you'd like to, you can't go out and mine gold. Somebody already thought of that and there isn't any left. Every last ounce is already in circulation.

This is more of a weak, post-hoc rationalization than a legitimate argument, but it could add some color to a game world. "Ah yes, this item dates back to the gold riots of 247 c.e." That sort of thing.

Well that sounds like a pretty good explanation.

Quote:

On a totally unrelated note:
I read your story about Conception 2002 and I honestly can't think of a more brain-dead way to run a con. The game sign-up mechanism both for GMs and players is bizarre. The idea of paying per game and committing to a particular slot with cash borders on offensive.

At the con I help run, the fee is a one time charge to get in the door for
two and a half days. All the games are published in our con book weeks in advance so everybody knows what is running when. Furthermore, we post sign-up sheets for all games on a couple of tables in a central area. It is first come first serve, but since you can sign up when you arrive rather than hope to get in at the last minute there's no unpleasant surprises. And, since you aren't paying per slot, if you don't manage to get into a particular game, or it gets canceled, it is no big deal. Finally, we stagger our start times so you have a few hours to run/play in a game, but you never have to wait more than an hour for a new set of games to start. In fact, getting into games is so easy that we have people who play for the entire 60 hours that the con is open, non-stop.

On the GM end of things, the whole schedule is posted on a bulletin board so finding an open time and open room is easy. Adding a sign-up sheet requires nothing more than a piece of paper and a pencil. Finally, the largest room at the con is dedicated entirely to pick-up games. There's no schedule but there is usually ten to twenty people hanging around between games looking to play something and a half dozen open tables. Like playing, running games is so easy that we have people who GM for the entire 60 hours that the con is open, non-stop.

I'd invite you out to our con, but seeing as how it's in California it's probably a longer trip than your willing to make.

Keep up the good work, Critical Miss is fantastic.
-Scott

Yeah, California is quite a way. Smile

Jonny Nexus
13th Level

Joined: 07 Feb 2006
Posts: 846
Location: London

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject: The Problem with Necromancy Games

Quote:

I find it amusing that within three days of posting an article about the "slam Johnny Nexus" thread on the Necromancy Games BB the thread (alread 8 months old) is deleted. Is this because Clark/Orcus was insulting and refusing to face up to allegations of misbehavior? Probably.

The people participating in this discussion seemed to think the Power Creep discussion was a practical joke or a way to "burn" publishers. Which seems silly. Yes, the publishers of CM are immature (sorry guys, but you know it's true). And the theory was originally intended as a joke. But not a joke *on* someone. Er... Unless that's how you meant it. In which case, it was a pretty crappy practical joke. It didn't make anyone look stupid. And near as I can tell, it wasn't intended to make anyone look stupid. *shrug*

It just goes to show that "serious publishers," as one board member described Clark before the thread was removed, can be just as immature as "not serious" publishers (which presumably assumes that web fanzines are not "serious" -- which is a whole 'nother can of worms when the fanzine is CM and is intentionally silly).

-The Masked Platypus

No, you're right. It was just intended as a funny piece, a chance for everyone to have a good laugh.

And that's pretty much all I want to say on the subject, because it still depresses me three something years later.
_________________
"...if you like your humour coarse and black, this will probably have you rolling on the floor with laughter."
Simon Collins, ENWorld Staff Reviewer, reviewing my Slayers Guide to Games Masters

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